On breech:
to a pregnant woman in the elevator “Do you have a baby in there? Is it head down?”
pointing to the pubic area “Head down here, baby!”
On natural birth:
“All the moms in 1939 loved natural birth.”
“Oh! I have too much oxytocin today!”
On labor and birth–of stuffed animals:
“Here’s how the baby is in the moms belly and then when it gets too big she squeeeeeezes it out.”
“The mom puuushed and puuushed and puuuushed and the baby came out!”
“The mama sheep is resting cause it’s hard work getting the baby out.”
On home birth:
Still trying to get her uncle to come upstairs “Do you like to see just babies, with no blood or placenta anymore, just a baby?”
On the postpartum experience:
“How many colors of postpartum are there? Let’s count.”
“Mom! I need a rag! There’s like vernix all over my leg.”
On placenta encapsulation:
Watching a play date mom pop a pill “Are those placenta vitamins? It’s healthy to eat your placenta but it doesn’t taste very good.”
On breastfeeding:
“This mama has a lactational problem, with triplets. Three babies who need milk and there’s only two nips.”
On attachment parenting:
“Mama I promise if you let me climb all over you like a spider monkey my whole childhood, when I’m 16 I’ll make you a cake.”
